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View Full Version : additional warnings they should dispay on alcohol containers


si740
27/05/2007, 22:45
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.
3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.
8. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.
9. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).
10. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
11. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
12. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
13. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.
14. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
15. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.

miles_muso
28/05/2007, 00:14
Ahhh, but non-consumption of alcohol can bring about the arrival of the magic bus - you know, the one that takes home all the gorgeous girls that were in the bar when you were drunk, and replaced them with all the ugly cows that are sitting in their seats now that you're sober!

si740
29/05/2007, 19:56
Nice one miles muso lol